Big Girl Panties
Heyoo errbody, it’s ya homegirl Chelsie. So big things have happened in the past few days, the time has come for me to put on my big girl pants and get out in the real world in terms of Peace Corps service. Last week of training is almost as hectic as leaving the states. You are trying to figure out how to pack (especially after the PC gives you a mountain of books and other things) including in my case what to get rid of, then you are trying to split your time equally between your family and friends, you hardly get any sleep, and my least favorite part saying goodbye. But before you know it you make it to the event that is about to start your new journey (Staging/ Swearing in). It is time to go out and actually do what staff has been training us for.
Peru 27 for 27 months that left on the 27th of April: 2 programs 43 volunteers being spread between 7 departments for 2 years.
Swearing in- the day every aspirante hopes to reach while in training and yet I had the underlying feeling of sadness and anxiousness placed above the obvious feeling of excitement. “I am a Peace Corps Volunteer” the words come out of our mouths as we all look around at the faces we have spent the past three months with making unforgettable memories, fully knowing that we have no idea when we might see some of them again. This is where the sadness sinks in. Not only was I saying goodbye (from now on we say see ya soon) to the most amazing and loving family that sung at the dinner table with me, acted like they understood my botched Spanish, were just as goofy as me, and made me feel like one of them. Next I had to say goodbye to some of the most incredible and loving people I have met, luckily for me the majority all got thrown in the same area so I’m sure I’ll be there as soon as I am actually allowed. Then sometimes when you are in your own world, mine being running through a field of flowers, and least expecting it you meet someone that brings you back to a reality that you are happy to be in. Someone who gives you warmth and brightens up in your presence, reminding you of the little things that make you, you. So yeah, saying goodbye sucks and being separated from people that you consider family isn’t all that ideal, but I have to remind myself of why I am here in the first place. Also I know that it isn’t goodbye, even though they are on the other side of the country they are always a free RPM call away.
I will definitely be needing the support because honestly I have no idea what I am doing. I am going to try to win over this town of 55,000 people with my bubbly personality and goofy body language (including my hide in cardigan/scarf method). This is where the anxiousness sinks in. Out of 900 applicants, my name was picked. With no previous job experience in my field and a pretty typical college experience: joined a sorority, made decent grades, gained the freshman 15 and continued to gain more, opted for being a part of the program council instead of executive council, studied abroad in Spain (but let’s be honest there wasn’t much studying going on), and most importantly graduated. But somehow whoever picks applicants saw something within me. Even after getting to training I was constantly surrounded by people on top of their shit and unlike usual I went straight into mellow/ go with the flow mode. But no complaints towards myself cause hey I made it, I did the oath and now I am in a room sitting on a bed with a hot pink zebra striped comforter, cuddled up because it is in the low 20s outside and listening to the guy on the radio (with the super loud voice that repeats words and phrases over and over) from the room next to me. But this isn’t just a room- it’s my room, it’s my new home for the next two years. Somehow I am going to wake up tomorrow and walk into the municipality (wearing my PC vest duh) with a huge smile on my face and knowingly make plans that will fall through. And I will continue every day until one day something actually happens. From the start it’s not going to be easy, half the time I just smile and nod and hope I didn’t agree to anything stupid. Spanish, oh Spanish how you have continued to kick my ass. Just gotta stay positive and hope that day by day things start making a bit more sense.
The PC staff saw something in me and now it is my job to never un-see what has been brought to my attention. As one of the current volunteers said to us during our last week- you are enough. I do not stand here with all of the degrees or at the highest language level but I am enough to make a change, even if it is the small things. I am enough. We all are enough. So I might be bullshitting my way through the first few months’ heck maybe even year, but I will make it.
So to all of Peru 27, we made it guys and we are all going to do amazing things. I am forever grateful for the relationships that have been build and for every single one of you. From Olivia’s ability to turn every unfortunate event into a great story (had to steal the superlative), to Chris’ ability to most likely be missing and doing his own thing. I have learned something from each and every one of you and I will always have that with me. I wouldn’t have wanted to start this amazing experience with anyone else. Remember----- SI SE PUEDE. Love you all and I promise I will start calling soon.
I promise to try to keep up with my blogging, all depends on my internet access.
Sending good vibes always.