Mid Service Blues
First of all I wanted to apologize for being a bit distant. I haven’t had internet at work and I’ve tried to take a step back from social media, because lets be honest usually whats posted on instagram or facebook isn’t the full story. Also, I haven’t really had much to say throughout the past few months.
I recently celebrated my one year of service as a Peace Corps Volunteer, so I decided now would be a good time to get real about my service so far. Including the struggles I’ve dealt with, but also my plans for my second year of service.
I’m not going to lie I haven’t had the easiest time and I think half of my problem was caused by being my own worst enemy and toughest critic. The past few months have been hard on me because I haven’t accomplished the things I think I should have. I struggle daily with my spanish and am no where near where I thought I would be/ should be. Most of the time I get in my own way by not putting myself out there. I’ve given myself many excuses like well I don’t really have anyone in site (friends or a family) to talk to. Not only has feeling like an outsider affected my spanish but also my emotions. It’s hard feeling like I am just temporary and soon will be replaced. I don’t feel apart of anything, I don’t really have a family relationship and I don’t have a social life in or outside of work. So I find myself doing a lot of things alone, which is fine. One of the big downsides is never being invited to town parties or work events. I have my PC family and am regularly surrounded by volunteers. But that sortof pulls me further away from creating a relationship within my town.
Also, I could’ve fought harder for work and I plan to now. Being a volunteer can really wear you down. When people openly lie to your face about starting a project or things just not working out. The turnover of employees randomly within the municipality has really hit me hard when the people I had become friends with all got fired at the same time. All of this combined made me feel that my ideas wouldn’t go anywhere and so I gave in- and gave up.
But now I refuse to leave Tarma without doing at least one thing to be proud of. So it’s time to buckle down and get serious. So I’m putting my struggles behind me and I’m going to use my one year anniversary to start again. I’ve already planned to reintroduce myself to the tourism committee, which is made up of a range of associations and smaller groups, in hopes that I can take advantage of the opportunities I have been given. I also plan to work closer with the artisan associations, something I was really looking for when I first arrived a year ago.
The project I am planning to focus on for the next few months is with the local artisans in Tarma. The main problem I’ve noticed is that they all sell the same products, which would be fine if there was an ample demand for them, but sadly there isn’t. So my idea is to not only teach them general business topics (production, marketing, finances) but to also teach them new techniques to diversify and distinguish their products. This month I will be starting the initial meetings with the heads of the artisan associations and hopefully we can get the project rolling.
Hopefully the next time you hear from me I will be able to show some progress in my project:)